A couple weeks ago, my friend, Lacey Wroblewski, mentioned a couple of hikes on Sauvie Island. I have never really spent any time on the island so I decided to check it out. My sister is working her wonky shifts in the bakery for Christmas, so she had to be at work by two. Last time she had to work at two, my 10.5 mile city hike nearly killed her. It took her three days to recover. I decided to do something simpler this time. There are two super short (just over two mile) hikes on Sauvie Island. There is also one that is seven miles but it has no elevation at all. I figured that was doable. I called my partner in crime and she said sure. We decided to hike to Warrior Point (the northenmost tip and coolio lighthouse on Sauvie Island).

It was easy to find. Basically every place on Sauvie Island is easy to find. We drove straight there and were ready to go by 10:30. With no elevation I figured 7 miles would take us a couple hours max and we’d be back in time for Subway and my sister’s dessert-making. We started off on the beach. It’s supposed to be a better view than the trail. The directions I got from the Portland Field Hiker’s Guide said to walk on the beach until it ended and then traipse through the woods to the trail. We tried that. The beach was wet but not unpleasant. Then we hit the trail. It was a muddy bog of epic proportions. I can’t even explain it. Basically there was no place to step in which you didn’t sink into 3-12 inches of boot swallowing mud. It was awful. We walked on the trail for about 20 minutes. We tried to stay to the sides but we kept getting cut up by thorns. We were both totally drenched in mud. It was stupid. The trail was completely destroyed. We headed back toward the beach.

There was a beach! We could walk there. Nope. We tried. We really did. It was sinky too. We had layers upon layers upon layers of mud and sand and leaves and seashells (rivershells?) on our boots. It was like walking on high-heels. Eventually we reached a place we could not negotiate. We decided to head back to the trail. I can’t even explain how determined I was to reach that stupid lighthouse. My sister kept saying, “Let’s just walk back down the beach past the trailhead.” I kept saying no. What I said actually contained a bit more profanity. However, I am a middle school teacher who’s students will eventually find this page so I will refrain from using expletives. Someone has to set an example, am I right?

I clambered up this fallen tree in an effort to get back to the trail. My sister just stood on the beach laughing at me. I eventually made it up, now drenched in mud from head to toe, and got stuck. I could see the trail but I could not reach it. It was still a muddy bog anyway. There was no point. There would be no trip to the lighthouse.

We headed back down the crazy sink-hole beach. It was a misadventure for sure. We walked passed where we had parked the car for awhile and then headed back. I would guess we walked somewhere between 3 and 4 miles total. It was not a very long distance, but we did a lot of acrobatics, boot-sinking missteps,  and crazy negotiating that I’m sure we worked muscles we didn’t even know we had. Someday I will see that lighthouse.

For information about the Warrior Point Hike here.